Blog #10 Gender and sex


I went ahead and read the very clear and well written reading 'Understanding Social Orientation' by Alfred C. Kinsey. I like this one in particular because it is short and to the point. Gender is socially constructed while sex is biological distinction. It usually is very clear is your a male or female but some are rarely intersexual. Gender isn't always clear cut and neither is sexuality.

I know that in my own experience and what I have been brought up to believe is that gender lines were drawn out for me. My dad is Jamaican and very homophobic as are many older Jamaican men born in the 1950's. I remember being fifteen or sixteen and not dating an boys because we had a very strict policy of no boyfriends until I was out the house. One day my father asked me is I was gay! And I told him "no and what if I was?". I walked away, disgusted by his question.

In the reading it states that one is either heterosexual or homosexual from birth. I've never felt a sexual connection to women. I've always know that I'm attracted to men, not that I've never thought about being with a female but I think I have been socially constructed from birth to think that being with a man is natural.

The socialization of genders are started at a very young age. Even if your homosexual and grow up in a home with traditional values it may be hard to be yourself. Fathers tend to interact with the boys, while the mothers interact with the girls. Each parent forming an affirmation of what society is to each gender. Naturally the chile will catch on and react appropriately.

Like it says in the reading, "Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes." I think what that means to me is that humans suppress many natural feelings because of what society teaches them.

Race and Ethnicity #9

In Beyond Black and White: Remaking Race in America by Jennifer Lee and Frank D. Bean it talks about how interracial children and families would refer to themselves on the U.S. census. Starting in the 2000 people can now select us to six different categories of race. This is also very important to the official recognition of racial mixing in America. Being able to select exactly what your race is important because it helps statistically. Statistically where you live, official recognition of race, social and economic disparities amongst other races are all important factors and to why mixed races need to be recognized.

The reading made it very clear that blacks and whites are the least likely to marry each other. This reading was written in the late 90’s early 2000’s saying that Asians and Latinos were three times more likely to marry outside of their race than blacks and whites. This is still the case now in the United States, but a lot of factors like education, income and gender have a lot to do with why that is. For example white men with a successful income are more likely to marry a minority than they are to marry a white woman. Statistics also say that blacks are least likely to marry outside of their race period. I think this has a lot to do with blacks still being the minority. Even blacks still don’t really recognize if their multiracial. A small 4.2 percent of the total black population may identify. Even as a young girl in Texas, if you had a black dad and a white mom you were black. My best friend is half Mexican and half black but just refers to himself as black when we’re out or just says that because it’s easier.

In relation to the documentary The Difference Between Us, you can clearly see why it still is awkward for other races to relate to each other. I think we've all been there at some point in our lives where we've been attracted and got along really well with someone but was too afraid and ashamed to say so because of our and the other persons' skin color. In the video a group of teenagers take blood samples and do a scientific test to see how different their genes really were. When they saw the results of the tests, the students were very surprised at how similar they really were. Despite how different their skin, hair and eyes were, the white jock kid was closer in genes to the black girl than the Jewish kid that looked most similar to him.


The uncomfortable feeling that most people get when talking about interracial mixing with whites and blacks all stems back to slavery, segregation and the clear oppression of blacks. It’s scary to date outside of your race but even scarier if you’re black dating outside your race. Cultural norms still ask us to identify with one race but in the past when you are black and something else you’re just black. That stigma still resonates with many multiracial people in America today.

"There is no one in the world who does not cherish the hope of having his standard of living raised." - His Imperial Majesty Emperor Haile Selassie
I think this statement is true to the core of the culture of the United States. Mostly everyone I've ever known wants to be more affluent, own more things and in the plainest terms; have more money. Marx believed that if a person worked then he/she was apart of the working class regardless of how much money he/she made. As our culture shows us, this is not true.

I honestly loved and was blown away by the series of videos from People Like Us. These are actions I see all day everyday in life, but when I correlate what I've learned in sociology 100 to the videos; I really have to do a WOW. I was a little disappointed that their weren't any Black or Spanish videos but I pretty much got the gist of it.
Middle class, upper class and working class are terms rooted in our vocabulary so that we can associate and put people into the group they are deserving of. This means we class them by social status, political views, how they dress and how much money they have. America is a nation of groups, tribes that come together because they have the same likes and dislikes. What I've learned most from the video is that it is hard to define and put people in certain boxes, but it would be even harder if people just didn't. People tend to be afraid of what they don't understand. The United States has many social distinctions and some are very hard to see. Sometimes, I'm just seen as a black girl. Just a black girl, who's probably dumb and has no father and is poor. Among many people in social settings I am a hipster who lives in Brooklyn. To me, I am a young adventurous woman attempting to be happy. Why can't their be a class, classified as happy?

I decided to read Media Magic: Making class invisible by Gregory Mantsios. In which I am even more confused from what I knew about classes to now. What I have learned is that large corporations own most of the media, and Americans watch a lot of news, read lots of magazines and newspapers and love the Internet. The media along with the government get to decide what the mass people are exposed to and what the are not. The media definitely doesn't want to do any coverage of nasty, dirty poor,starving people. Why? Because the one percent of wealthy white men who own everything in America simply don't want to deal with it. So the media edits and produces it out so that the majority of the middle working class believe that it's not that bad, when in all reality they're just hiding that poor people in America exist. With all of the coverage of Kim Kardashian and Donald Trump, the media helps the people forget about poor. The poor are just down on their luck and an eyesore. But the reading tells us that poverty in the US is systematic. There could be literally no poor people in America but it would burden and hinder what the wealthy have. The rich are too worried about their next trip or purchase while the working class is too busy working for themselves and with the medias help, no class has to even know that the poor exist.

Class and inequality is a hard topic to talk about as a black female. Most of the time I like to just smile and pretend that none of it exists but with this assignment I realize from my own experiences that it does. I still believe in equal opportunity and individualism. With nurturing love and education, anything is possible.

I think in class we have concentrated on deviant acts that are negative. I want to also show that some deviant acts can be kind and positive. Norms can still be broken without being negative. New York is culturally diverse, so the norms and values make it a little harder to define what is "normal" and what is "deviant".

I'm from Houston and in the south people say hello to each other when they walk by each other or make eye contact. Sometimes I forget I'm in New York and I'll say hi to a stranger on the street... They almost always look shocked, then smile and say hello back. Of course I was shocked when I moved here and everyone just seemed to be in a stank mood or just not having it, but I realized that it's not in New York city's culture. My deviant behavior failed to conform to the norms of the New York culture.

My friend Stacey and I were leaving work in a yellow taxi cab. We found a cell phone in the seat. Instead of going straight home after a long and tired shift, we searched and found the owner of the phone. That I think would classify as a positive act of deviance. The norm in New York would have been to give it to the cab driver or just leave it where we found it and went about our business. Society tells us that random acts of kindness are very rare, especially in NYC.

Sometimes at work, I get guests that are new to New York. Foreigners, tourists and visitors are kind and green and refreshing. If I like them enough, even if I know they won't tip, I give them a list of great places to go to. Most don't even try to make it to Brooklyn, but I talk them into it and give them amazing restaurants, bars and events to go to while they're here. When they are leaving the restaurant, I get hugs and kisses for day! Guests have even come back to ask for me which makes me feel nice. It just takes a little bit to make someone's day or ruin it. I love removing the stigma that all New York waitresses are rude... And actors.

Now going into the deviant acts that are clearly seen without having to look too hard.
Smoking is something I do when I'm drinking. I hate myself for it and so do my friends around me when I do it. The government, the companies that make the cigarettes and society all say its bad to smoke... But I do it sometimes when I'm in social settings because its normal then. Everyone's having a good time, take shot of tequila then "hey wanna smoke" and it's a no brainer. Also as a black female, I've dated white and Spanish men before and in each instance there has always been a sense that it was wrong. I was already programmed to think it was wrong but I went on a whim and still felt it was wrong. This is because society and my culture tells me it's wrong and I end up thinking that too, and you can feel it in public.

The undeserving poor is a thorough study and explanation of the poor.
 Why they're poor, who keeps them poor and how they stay poor. The author Herbert Gans makes is very clear that the poor are large and vast and never going to go away. According to Gans, labeling the poor will in turn help them label the selves. It's like an on going cycle that is very hard to be broken. In turn, poor people are socialized to think that being poor is they're only way to live and there is nothing to do about it. While the rich are very pleased with that, seeing how it won't interfere with their fortunes and lifestyles. Turning a blind eye is very easy and is probably a deviant act as well.

In A Call to Men, Tony Porter talks about growing up as boy and turning into a man in the Bronx NY. Mr. Porter tells the audience about the man box, which is a great descriptive analogy to what our culture tells young boys and men how they should act throughout life. Men should  be heterosexual, dominant, have no fear, and be tough and strong. From a very young age, boys are socialized to internalize expectations from family, school and numerous different institutions. 

When Tony Porter's brother dies, his father emotionally broke down. Completely suppressed his emotions at the funeral until all the women in their family were no where to be seen. This is a perfect example of how our culture almost de-humanizes humanity's natural need to feel emotion. In the Johnny and Sheila story Mr. Porter had a moment of resocialization when he was invited to have sex with a girl without her consent. By the end of the TED talk, there was a sense that the speaker Tony was speaking about promoting equality. He let the audience know that our young sons need to know that they don't have to be Superman and that even Superman gets emotional sometimes. 

In Killing Us Softly by Jean Kilbourne, she talks about the media and advertisements turning women into objects. These ads are something that are not there in real life. Women don't actually look like what they portray women in ads in magazines, on the Internet and in life.

Jean Kilbourne's talk tells us that everyday at every moment, women are bring de-humanized, being attacked and looked at as objects. She shows us how some advertisements replace food parts with women part. There are examples of beer bottles as women. Chicken buckets as breasts. The list goes on as to how the commercial industry depicts beautiful women. Sex sells... And it creates public health problems for many women.

Socialization is the basis for both of these videos. We learn as people from early on what to believe is right and wrong. Sometimes what we are taught actually hinder us in the long run. That's what these videos tell us. What we are taught to know at a young age may very well be misinformed. We learn new things about ourselves everyday and as we grow we understand that many things aren't as they seem. Men can be emotional and not dominant. All women don't, can't and will never look like women in magazines because even the women in them do not look like that. Socialization isn't only positive as we both heard in the assigned videos. It is very much negative as well.

The Retro Wife and Parents' Socialization of Children are articles about parenting. Retro Wife is about the woman in the household and the feminism behind it. The article follows a family with a mother and wife who decides that being a mom at home with her kids is her first priority. Society tells her that yes this I'd her role but feminists would tell her otherwise. They would tell her that she is being socialized into thinking  that her role in life is to be a good mom and housewife. For Kelly Makino that is perfectly ok, if that means she can raise her kids the way she would like. Parents' Socialization of Children explains in depth from numerous sources around the world the different parenting styles which are all cultivated from each owns society and culture. 

Culture shock is something that hasn't resonated with me as much as it has with other people. Coming from a multicultural family of Ethiopian and Jamaican descent, I think I may have been exposed to culture shock early on. Moving to New York could have been a huge culture shock for me, but it wasn't because I was brought up knowing that every place and everyone has different beliefs and ways of life that may seem strange to me but perfectly regular to them.

I moved around a lot as a kid, about 13 times, not including my independent move to New York. It definitely felt like I was living a gypsy lifestyle. As soon as I would make friends and get comfortable somewhere, my parents would then tell me we were heading out. Not only did I have my parents languages to understand, but when we moved to Houston, the dialect and accents were very different. I had to adapt to Houston's cultural relativism. Houston's dialect was different, a long southern drawl. Not like a South Carolina or Mississippi accent but more of a country drawl that you can find in Arkansas or Oklahoma.




But moving to New York City was a completely different story. Everything that seemed norm to me changed when I moved to New York. New York City is a melting pot of multi-cultural ethnicities. People in New York definitely don't share the same beliefs, languages or behaviors, but the people that inhabit New York share the same city and have to evolve in each others space. This is in turn makes everyone in this city exposed to many, many different cultures. The natural ethnocentrism that comes along with living amongst so many different cultures was mind blowing to me. There are more people from different countries living in New York than anywhere else. The dominant culture permeates the United States no matter where you are in it. The difference about it in New York is that many second and third generations keep the language, all of the material cultures and their real culture is valued deeply.

Traveling to different countries has taught me that every country has some of the same exact ideal cultures with or without knowing it but behaviors are something no one can hide from when traveling into another country from their own. When I was in Berlin, it is like a sin to cross the street even when there were absolutely no cars, the cross walk signal had to be changed. There also was a huge subculture of Turkish communities all throughout Berlin.

My own culture is very hard to define, I am constantly changing and learning who I am. As I am doing that, I am learning from other people who live elsewhere. This helps me understand how big and vast the world is. Acknowledging other cultures, the different freedoms other cultures have, has brought on a different perspective on all angles of my life.

From watching football in Texas to eating my way through New York and dancing to electronic music through Germany. I am becoming more multicultural than I ever thought I could be.

Sad souls

Teenage Wasteland by Donna Gaines was a little hard for me to get through. She asked a lot of questions and investigated suicidal, depressed kids who live in a suburban area of New Jersey. After finishing the reading, I then was able to understand the sociological imagination of her research.

The teenagers that committed this group suicide were labeled as outcasts and losers. They did not fit in with the normal conformities around them. This would either lead to a depressive state or some outlet to put that negative energy somewhere else. Some kids who are told they are outcasts and different don’t always submit to suicide as a way out.

These teenagers didn’t excel in their studies. They were brought up in broken homes. They knew other people who committed suicide. They had many financial constraints. They hated the environment they were brought up in. All of these points were necessary to try to answer Gaines questions.

These four teenagers were so lost that it was enough for them to commit mass suicide. This brings up many questions that only the dead kids can answer. What happened? How sad are you? What’s going on with you? These basic questions may have prevented some of these deaths. How did their community attribute to their suicides? Did their communities reject them?

People need to feel loved; they need solidarity within their lives. We find people who like the same things as us. Some kids have their heads in comic books, or play an instrument, some paint or draw. Some kids play X-box together or online games. These kids who committed suicide came together for the sake of losing the feeling of helplessness.